Man Up: Looking for a Play-Date vs a Wife

What I’m Learning from Les Miles

I read an article today about LSU fooball coach, Les Miles, at ESPN.com that not only gave me a real appreciation for the man (this is not easy for an Ole Miss grad to admit), but also made me reflect upon my life as a pastor/husband/dad, since pastoring and coaching seem to be very similar vocations. Somehow, in the midst of the pressue and expectations, Les has been able to succeed as a coach while also being a great dad/family man. According to the article, this is an unusual combination. 

Early on, the bio on Les Miles reads, 

Charles Spurgeon and Sola Gratia

Charles Spurgeon was a preacher of grace in 19th century England. I don’t know where I found this Spurgeon quote, but I’ve had it on my desk for several years, hoping that one day, after repeated exposure, the nickel will drop and I will get it. 

“If there be one stitch in the celestial garment of our righteousness which we are to insert ourselves, then we are lost.”

As Paul said in 2 Corinthians 5:21, “He who knew no sin became sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”  The key words are “in him”—in Jesus. Self-righteousness will never do. My righteousness before God must be received as a gift of grace. In Latin, we say sola gratia. 

 

October 31 and the Re-Discovery of Grace

Recent K-Group Pictures

See the full gallery on Posterous

Helpful Quotes: Conflict, Community, Truth and Love

I have heard some helpful quotes this week and thought I’d share a few of them with you.

“In conflict, our hearts come to the surface.”

“Authentic community is not the absence of conflict and relational funkiness. Authentic community is the result of living out the gospel in the midst of and through conflict and relational funkiness. Authentic community takes place as we learn to repent deeply and forgive completely.”

“Hard circumstances do not forge character; hard circumstances reveal it.” Okay, circumstances do play a major part in the sanctification process. The idea is that how we react to our circumstances reveals where we are in the process and what the functional gospel of our lives is.

“How we say something is as important as what we say.” Thanks to Andy Woznicki for that one. In other words, as Paul said, speak the truth in love.

Andy claims to have heard the following equations at Campus Outreach training or something. I think he made it up himself and is just being humble.

• Truth – love —> destroys
• Love – truth —> deceives 
• Truth + love —> develops / encourages / builds up

That’ll preach. After all, it’s the gospel.

• Truth = I am more sinful that I would ever dare to admit.
• Love = I am more forgiven and accepted than I could ever dare to dream.

SERMON NOTES: “Unmasking the Impostor” (Romans 2:12-24)

See below for the sermon notes to the Creekstone message on Oct. 16, “Unmasking the Impostor.” In this passage from Romans 2, Paul wants us to feel busted as impostors so that we can take off our masks, stop covering up the truth and experience the freedom and power of God’s grace in the gospel. 

The audio of the message is here. 

Romans 2.12-24.unmasking the impostor.pdf Download this file

STUDY GUIDE: Unmasking the Impostor (Romans 2:12-24)

Romans_2.12-24.unmasking_pharisee_(study_guide).pdf Download this file

The Seed Planting Business

Sermon Notes (10.9.11): “The Role of Works” – Romans 2:6-11

Some have asked that I post my sermon notes in addition to the audio so that they can have another medium to review and possibly to use for teaching in other contexts. I’ll try to remember to keep posting them if you find them helpful. Or we may post them to the Creekstone website with the sermon audio files. Would love your input if you have any.

Romans_2.6-11.works.pdf Download this file

 

Come Away with Me and Rest

In Mark 6, Jesus’ disciples report on the work they had done after having been sent out on a mission by Jesus. Here is what we read next, “30 The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. 31Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’ 32 So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.”

Jesus understood the significance of sabbath and how it plays into the rhythms of life, particularly cycles of work and rest. Drained batteries need to be recharged. So do people. The point: We can’t work well unless we rest well.

I notice several aspects to Jesus’ invitation to rest:

1. It is away. There is a physical distance that must be created between work and rest.

2. It is with Jesus. The spiritual aspect of rest is often overlooked, but is vitally important.

3. A quiet place. Living in a techno-ubiqitous world, it is hard to experience genuine quiet. But something happens in quite that allows for a deeper rest of mind, body and soul than is possible with multiple audio-visual distractions. 

4. The implication of time. Jesus seems to imply that a quick power nap is going to work. He plans to give them some extended, slow-charge time for renewal—before the next mission. 

Physical distance. Spiritual awareness. Genuine quiet. Time. These seem to be important, non-negotiable ingredients required for the kind of rest that provides for healthy, profitable, effective work. Yes, the work element in the cycle comes around again and again. It would serve us well to be mindful of the need for the rest element.  

FOR Us and Then IN Us

In this week’s Creekstone message, I will be teaching on the role of “works” in the life of a Christian from Romans 2:6-11, which appears to put works ahead of grace. However, Ephesians 2:8-10 says, “8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” This helpful passage reveals the relationship of grace, faith and works. What we discover is that, first, God works FOR us (grace secured by Jesus). Then he works IN us (creating faith and fruit by the power of the Holy Spirit).  In other words, grace justifies and then goes on to sanctify. Therefore, our works are not the means of our salvation, but the evidence of our salvation. We are saved by the works of Jesus. With this grid we can read passages like Romans 2:6-11 in a gospel context. Okay, gotta run. Much more to come on Sunday… 

Church Growing Pains: Know Which Game are You Playing

Mark Driscoll has produced a number of vodcasts dealing with various issues in church leadership. One segment describes the different phases church plants go through as they grow. According to Driscoll, in order for the planter to be effective in leading the church through these transitions, he needs to know which game he is playing: golf, basketball or football. That got me thinking about how this could be fleshed out a bit and put into a grid. Here is what I’ve come up with (see below). It’s not inerrant, but may provide some helpful context for both leaders and members as churches experience growing pains, helping planters know how to function in their changing role and helping others have appropriate expectations for the planter as the church experiences organizational change.

There is Nothing Left to Prove

I think a driving force for most of my life has been about trying to prove something—mainly that I am somebody. Maybe you can relate. This issue is identity, and it plays out in a thousand ways.  

• I am smart. I’ll prove it.
• I am athletic. I’ll prove it.
• I am right. I’ll prove it. 
• I am nice. I’ll prove it.
• I am successful. I’ll prove it.
• I am popular. I’ll prove it.
• I am good. I’ll prove it.
• I am strong. I’ll prove it. 
• I am a good singer… actor… or writer… and I’ll prove it.
• I am a good student. I’ll prove it. 
• I am a good pastor. I’ll prove it.
• I am a good preacher. I’ll prove it.
• I am a good parent. I’ll prove it.
• I am a good husband/wife. I’ll prove it.
• I am a good ___________. I’ll prove it.

The list could go on and on. And in every way that I try to prove myself, I become more and more a prisoner of my own idealized self, which soon becomes my idolized self. And an idolized self is not a friend.

For many of us guys, we are trying to prove something to our fathers who, whether intentionally or unintentionally, never validated us as men. We are saying with our lives, “Look, Dad. I am somebody! Notice me! I have what it takes! Affirm me!” For women, it is usually the approval of a mother that is craved.

But what if I no longer had anything to prove? Can you imagine the freedom? What if I had a perfect parent whose daily refrain over my life was, “This is my son in whom I am well pleased.” You may say, “That is what God the Father said to Jesus the Son, not to me.” The amazing truth of the gospel is that those who by faith receive and possess the perfect record of Jesus’ righteousness are justified by grace and adopted in love. Jesus’ Father is my Father, and those words of affection and validation are now mine. They are not deserved or earned, so they can’t be lost. They are given. They are grace. 

In light of the gospel, there is nothing left to prove. Let’s go live like it!

Confessions of a Liberated Pastor

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” ~ The Apostle Paul in Galatians 5:1

I have not preached in two weeks, which means I have had some extra time to read and reflect in ways and on subjects that I often overlook. One subject is me. My soul. Self-care.

Recently, within one hour, three people told me that I looked very tired. Not just physically tired, but a deeper, soul tired. Exausted. It was true. One way I’ve tried to describe it is “hitting the wall.”  In marathons, runners usually “hit the wall” around mile 18 or so, when all the glycogen has been depleted from their muscles. If glycogen is not replenished, the legs just shut down. Race over. 

After two thrilling years of church planting with crowds attending and ministries flouishing, I hit the wall. With the “you look tired” wake up call, I ordered and read two helpful books, The Hidden Link Between Adrenaline and Stress and The Introverted Church. Both books spoke to me in pesonal, profound and much needed ways. 

Like a combustible chemical compound, these books have opened a fissure in my soul. And through that fissure, liberation—a genuine existential freedom in the gospel. In fact, I am feeling unexpectedly refreshed and gratefully reinvigorated for the next leg of the race. 

So what is it that feels so liberated? Here are some areas off the top of my head. 

• I am free from guilt and condemnation.
• I am free to be an introverted church planter/pastor (much more on this in future posts!). 
• I am free to laugh (especially at myself).
• I am free to not have all the answers.
• I am free to fail.
• I am free to tell dumb jokes.
• I am free to lead out of weakness.
• I am free to take off my mask of hypocrisy, being radically real as the chief of sinners. 
• I am free to not have to fix people (and free not to be fixed myself).
• I am free to not have to please people. 
• I am free to say no so that I can be free to say yes.
• I am free to be misunderstood, criticized, maligned and despised.
• I am free to design my life in a way that will most effectively bless the church.
• I am free to delight in being an adopted, forgiven, accepted and righteous son.
• I am free to forgive.
• I am free to live with the faith of a child, filled with wonder, trust and thankfulness. 
• I am free to act radically generous in light of the gospel. 
• I am free to ask hard, penetrating, personal, uncomfortable questions of people who need them asked.
• I am free to offend the religious. 
• I am free to love the unlovable. 
• Sadly, I am not free from paying my mortgage.

Anyway, all of this is possible because of the cross, where my freedom was purchased and liberty lives. My Father is the sovereign King. I have been given the robe of perfect righteousness from the ultimate elder brother, Jesus. The Spirit has sealed me for heaven and indwells me, continually convincing me that I am accepted in the Beloved. 

Yet I confess that living a life unshackled from God’s law and human expectations will be a struggle. Every morning and throughout the day I will be tempted to put on various yokes of slavery. For, while preaching grace, I have lived (quite unconsciously) under the yoke of legalism, worry and the fear of man for so long that I really don’t know how to be free, walking in the light of the gospel. So pray for me if you think about it, because living as a liberated pastor is one of the best things I can do as a husband and father, pastor and friend.  

I trust that there are areas in your life where you could use some freedom, too. How are you bound? What do you think it would look like for you to be free?

The Eighth and Greatest Wonder of the Ancient World

This map of the seven wonders of the ancient world should include and eighth, and greatest wonder, which was located just outside of Jerusalem for just one day around 30 A.D. Though its scope is incomprehensible,  seeking to gain greater understanding into its significance is at the heart of Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 3: 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.” A love that was demonstrated for sinners like us upon the eighth and greatest wonder, the cross of Jesus. 

The Most Dangerous Spiritual Condition

Al Mohler rightly says, “Most moralists would not claim to be without sin, but merely beyond scandal. That is considered sufficient.”  The problem is the self-righteousness that stems from that world-view IS a scandalous sin in light of the cross.  While focusing on public sin, we moralists overlook the sins of the heart. Yet both point us to our need for a Savior. So, if you find yourself to be essentially a religious moralist, beware. It is the most dangerous spiritual condition possible. While thinking we are well, we are on the edge of death. Thankfully, the gospel is for us, too, the worst of sinners. When we realize that, our moralism is replaced by humility and gratitude for the love of Jesus, and we begin to sing a new song, deep from the heart:

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me….

I once was lost but now am found,

Was blind, but now, I see.

A Dream Come True

Typically, Tuesday (today) is one of my weekly “focus on the Sunday sermon” days. However, this week Creekstone is not having a Sunday morning service. So time for some golf, right?! For starters, I don’t really play golf (because I don’t like to cuss in public). I like to hike or run trails. Second, it’s raining. Third, we are launching our K-Groups Sunday evening, and I am planning to take time to prepare a discussion guide that will prime the pump for what we hope these groups will be, which in my mind is something along the lines of Acts 2:42-47,

“42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” 

What if Creekstone were a worshipping community that was radically devoted to sound doctrine and to caring sacrificially for each other? What if we were a community where the power of God was manifest in ways that would only be explained by the miraculous presence of God? What if we were a community that was so alive to the wonder of God’s grace in the gospel that we drew unbelievers in to the fellowship by the attractiveness of our joy? That would be a dream come true! But is it really possible? Absolutely.

It does not take a rocket scientist to understand the key to this kind of community. Essentially, the members of this early Christian community (1) believed the gospel with repentant faith and (2) were filled with the Holy Spirit (see verses 37-41 for context). Acts 2 teaches us that the kind of spiritual-community we long to experience cannot be created by a program or by principles. It must be the overflow of the Spirit Himself in the lives of grace-dependent people who are actively affirming the gospel motto, “Jesus is my righteousness.” K-Groups can be gospel kindling, but the Spirit must set the fire.

In light of the potential for such a faith community, I want to invite you to sign up for a K-Group and be devoted to it. They meet twice a month, on the second and fourth Sunday nights of each month (Sept-Nov. and Jan-April) from 5:30-7:00 p.m.  For more information and to sign up, go to this link on the Creekstone website. Also, be sure to email Andy Woznicki (ajwoznicki@gmail.com) with the group number you plan to attend (1, 2, 3, or 4).  

Ten Simple Reflections on Marriage

Here are ten simple reflections from this past weekend’s marriage conference.

1. Intimacy in marriage begins with intimacy with God as Abba, Father. Quality “face-time” with the Father sets up quality “fact-time” with my spouse. The closer and more intimate I am with the Father, the closer and more intimate I can be with my spouse (see the Love Triangle image below). 

2. Active, gospel faith (ie, “Jesus is my righteousness”) enables me to be a safe place for my spouse to be real. The more I know the safety of  Jesus, the safer I can be with others. Does my spouse consider me to be safe? 

3. Although stated in different ways, it seems as if the number one desire of each gender is to be appreciated. How often to I take my spouse for granted? Too much. What can I do about this?

4. In light of the cross, Jesus leaves me with no doubt that he loves me. Does my spouse have no doubt about my love for him/her? What can I do to change that?

5. The difference between a general friendship and a healthy marriage is the depth of intimacy. Am I growing in intimacy with my spouse, or are we just living as room-mates? Are we living parallel lives, or growing closer?

6. Jesus loved well because he was able to look and really see the other person. How often do I take time to really look and see what is going on under the hood of my spouses’ life? What questions do I need to ask? Am I a safe place for him/her to risk exposure of his/her fears/hurts/issues?

7. Most spouses do not want to be fixed. We want to be understood… and loved anyway. Am I a good listener, or just a good fixer?

8. The way most of us try to change our spouses is by giving them laws/rules/expectations to follow and obey. What if the way we really change is by being loved? But how can we love when a spouse is being unlovable? We believe the gospel — 1 John 4:9-10, “This is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and gave his Son as a propitiation for our sins. Since we have been loved like this, so we are to love one another.” 

9. Since being loved empowers love, the best thing I can do for my spouse is to be the object of the Father’s affection and live in light of His amazing grace. Is my chief identity as one who is loved by the Father by grace; or as one who is striving to be loved because of some great accomplishment I can achieve?

10. The problem in my marriage is most likely not my spouse; it is me. If I can begin there, hope and change can abound. 

TheLoveTriangleofMaritalIntimacy2.pdf Download this file

The Love Triangle of Marital Intimacy

Here is the graphic Johnny Long used this morning at Creekstone to diagram how the love triangle of marital intimacy works. Thanks, Johnny!

Creekstone Marriage Conference Photos

Slow This Train Down!

I have been reading a book by Dr. Archibald D. Hart, entitled, The Hidden Link Between Adrenaline and Stress. His thesis is that the adrenaline hormone is released by stress, which if allowed to continue flowing, creates “stress damage” upon the body, especially on the heart. He calls this negative impact “hurry sickness.” It’s a scientific fact that stress kills. So if your life sometimes feels like you are on a runaway train bound for a crash, join the club. Now, the first motion on the floor is to slow that train down! Great idea, but how? Hart says that it will take an intentional effort to put on the brakes by creating margins in life and taking time to recover from stressful events. It is both a calendar issue and heart issue. It also is an addiction issue. He says that many Western folks are acutally addicted to their adrenaline arousal. That is why we type-a personalitty folks have trouble just being rather than doing. So, I’m looking forward to his next chapters on the importance of sleep (he says the human body needs an average of nine hours of sleep a night to remain at full functionality) and rest. He has several relaxation techniques that I plan on perfecting. So, if you want to join the “I’m a trainwreck waiting to happen” club, hop on board! But let’s slow train down so that we can really live, work and play in a way that is both healthy and productive.

Do you have any ideas for the club?  Feel free to share them below.

Mission and Discipleship

Thanks to Craig Salee for sending me to Mike Breen’s blog, where he says that the mission of the church will fail without a conscious, intentional focus on discipleship.  

Here is a quote: 

“There is a reason so many movements in the Western church have failed in the past century: They are a car without an engine. A missional church or a missional community or a missional small group is the new car that everyone is talking about right now, but no matter how beautiful or shiny the vehicle, without an engine, it won’t go anywhere. So what is the engine of the church? Discipleship. I’ve said it many times: If you make disciples, you will always get the church. But if you try to build the church, you will rarely get disciples.” 

Here is the entire blog post. Let me know what you think.

Ground Zero

Some of the most striking images for me in the aftermath of 9-11 were the firefighters digging through the rubble at ground zero looking for survivors. It was dangerous, hard work. They were heros and should be recognized as such as our nation remembers their sacrifice on 9.1.01.

What if Lumpkin County were ground zero of a different kind? Statistically 73% of the people in Lumpkin County have essentially no exposure to the gospel. That’s 22,000 people. If we exclude exposure to religious moralism, the number could be closer to 90% (based on conversations I have with folks, most of whom believe the gospel is “be a good boy and God will love you”).  The truth is that we live in the midst of a spiritual ground zero right here in Dahlonega, GA. Thousands of people are buried in the rubble of a fallen world and broken lives. If you are a follower of Jesus in the Dahlonega area, I want to invite you to be part of the rescue mission, helping expose others to the truth that on the cross, Jesus experienced the ultimate ground zero.  As the ultimate rescuer, he voluntarily put himself in the place of judgement and was buried under the rubble of our sin so that we could be rescued and live. In a statement, Jesus experienced the terror of justice so that I might experience the tenderness of God’s mercy.

So, have you been rescued? If so, will you become a rescue volunteer? Let’s make it our aim as partners in the gospel to reach the 22,000 (or more) with the message of the cross. 

A Special Message for 9-11